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A Raindrop by ~Tar1988:iconTar1988:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Nature > Open


                             hey,

                            What
                        if you could
                 
                    catch a raindrop.
                
               and hold it in your hand.
        
            Would it make you happier?
        
       how do you think the raindrop feels?
     
     you just watch the water seeping down    
       between your whitely marbled hand.
        
         And for just one fleeting moment,
           You find yourself wishing, that
                Just for once, you could
                     send it back up.
©2008-2009 ~Tar1988
:icontar1988:

Author's Comments

WIP.

If all goes well (all doesn't have a tendency of doing so, but you never know) you should be able to make out what I'm trying to do here.

Sadly, so far it is only trying.

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 1 1 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:icontennisbollen:
~Tennisbollen Sep 30, 2008, 4:58:58 AM
I like it. :) Nice to see you writing again.

Well performed I'd say.

--
Stay Alive!

Don't be ashamed of who you are, be ashamed of who I am instead.

"Not that I detest extraterrestrials but I believe it is much easier to socialize with the population of Earth."
:iconaway-from-me:
~Away-From-Me Sep 30, 2008, 5:39:39 AM
If by "what I'm trying to do here" you mean the shape, it came out perfectly.
As to the writing, it is, well, it's beautiful. :)

--
:coffeemachine: Because nothing says love like your very own coffeemachine.

Ask me about barnacles, you won't regret it. (sometimes, it is what you've got, not just where you stick it.)
:iconme-are-cus:
~me-are-cus Sep 30, 2008, 6:21:07 AM
haha really awesome structure ;)
:iconrheherem:
~rheherem Sep 30, 2008, 4:10:27 PM
YAY!! i so missed your work. i love the poem itself, and i love how you got the perfect raindrop shape. the whole thing is beautiful.

--
The girl fell to her knees and cried, "Oh, God, please take me away from this pain!"
And the devil stepped up to her and said, "God cares not for your petty tears."
:iconkonjuku:
*Konjuku Oct 1, 2008, 2:53:48 PM
I've missed your poetry, watching it grow, and evolve. And suddenly, this pops up. Like a raindrop, sudden :)


I like the idea! The only line that irks me is
between your whitely marbled hand.

Whiteley, seems, awkward.

--


-
Don't you wanna' know how we keep starting fires?
:iconmidnightrose1001:
~midnightrose1001 Oct 1, 2008, 6:18:09 PM
Love the shape and the poem <3

--
If there is one thing I've learned from philosophy, it's that I don't know anything but maybe someday, if I'm lucky, I will know even less than I do now. Honestly, it's what I'm hoping for.
:iconxxsillygirlxx:
~XxSillyGirlxX Oct 1, 2008, 7:08:45 PM
Beautiful! Usually whenever I try to write poems in the shape of something, I think too much about the shape and lose focus of the words. ^^; But you did great! I love it. :D

--
It's like my inner eye opened up and saw everything in a new light. Everything became beautiful.

So do what you do best, because it's more beautiful than you know. ~:heart:
:icontar1988:
~Tar1988 Oct 2, 2008, 2:34:43 AM
thanks :)

--
:coffeemachine: because nothing says love like a coffeemachine

[link] => literure
:icontar1988:
~Tar1988 Oct 2, 2008, 2:38:22 AM
thanks :)

--
:coffeemachine: because nothing says love like a coffeemachine

[link] => literure
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