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The Perfect Excuse by ~Tar1988:iconTar1988:



I took the light of a falling star,
the sound of a waterfall in the dark,
the smell of dawn in a mediterranean spring
And every other beautiful thing.

I took the colour of the sea away,
stole the smile of a child in play,
forged the glitter of a mount of gold
into the greatest story ever told.

A drop of dew on a blade of grass
A hint of sunshine, fractured in glass
I took these things all golden and blue,
to encase them all, in my love for you.

I'd make you a ring, a jewel, a crown,
but then I turned and I looked down,
on all the things I pillaged and stole,
and the shadows they all cast
in the sunshine of your soul.

As I turned again, and looked at you,
I saw that no matter what I'd do,
no matter what I'd forge or make,
You would make it all look fake.




And that my love, is the answer to,
why I have no gift for you.

Yes, I know that it's your birthday today,
but I had to throw my present away,
And no, I feel no guilt or shame,
it's your beautiful self that is to blame.
©2009 ~Tar1988
:icontar1988:

Author's Comments

Someting to keep in mind when you forget that special someone's birthday.

Comments


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:iconsierrathecat:
You're gonna make me cry it's so beautiful..... :cry:

--
Whether the glass is half empty or half full depends on whether you poured into it or out of it to make it that way.
:iconme-are-cus:
i like it
very rhythmical
and the imagery is amazing
the sudden change in the number of lines was unexpected but it just fits somehow

a must fave :lol:

keep em' coming, my friend! ;)
:icontar1988:
I'm glad you liked it :) (and I'm sorry to make you cry :( )

--
:coffeemachine: because nothing says love like a coffeemachine

[link] => literure
:icontar1988:
ah yes. about that.

I'm afraid the line changing was more something like: "dammit, can't get it right, can't get it right. Hmm, guess it'll work like that." Now I call it poetic freedom. sounds much better than initial screwup, doesn't it ? :p

--
:coffeemachine: because nothing says love like a coffeemachine

[link] => literure
:iconme-are-cus:
haha, indeed, thank you imaginative relabeling :XD:
:iconsomething44:
I love the rhythmic flow in this piece. The rhyming scheme is so soulful that it gives you a very nice image to ponder. Very romantic. Truly great! :thumbsup:

--
Some people say they haven't yet found themselves. But the self is not something one finds; it is something one creates.
:icontar1988:
thank you !

--
:coffeemachine: because nothing says love like a coffeemachine

[link] => literure
:iconn-g-e:
Quite touching, I must admit :) Still got that golden touch :)
:iconxxsillygirlxx:
You really got me with those first couple stanzas--I looove the idea. >D Nyaa~ I want someone to write poetry this pretty for me one day, heehee...

The only part I kinda lost the beat was in the fourth stanza...the last three lines, I think. Just that the idea is that the person outshines all those pretty things you stole, right? Why would they be the ones overcasting shadows when that person's clearly got the upper hand since the line later says "you would make it all look fake".

O_o Err, I wouldn't worry about it though. I just feel like I should say something since it says "Advanced critique encouraged" ^^; Really, I love it. Nice job.

--
When destiny takes whom she desires, she cannot take away the feelings we feel.

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March 25
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